Saturday, June 7, 2014

Comic Scripts: West, Part 8

I am not even going to try and explain the delay. My policy at this point is to give a cheerful smile, a curt wave, and hope it all works out for the best. Here's a couple more pages, if'n you're interested.

Incidentally, this is one of my favorite sequences in the story. It's really the place where all the different agendas and ideals butt up against each other in earnest, which is one of the main reasons I liked writing this script.

Incidentally, I've got a title for this story now! Poorer Than You Came, Parts One and Two. I'm pretty satisfied with it, and it feels good to stop calling it just "The Banker Story"

Page Three
Panel 1: Frank watches Stacy stalk off into the street.

Kearn (OP): *sob*

Panel 2: Frank turns to see Kearn, crying into his hands, sitting on the jail cot.

Kearn: *sob*

Kearn: I’m sorry.

Kearn: I didn’t know what else to do!

Kearn: I was starving.

Panel 3: Reverse shot on Frank through the bars. He detests Kearn, that much is clear in his face. but he’s a lawman, too. and he’s going to do his duty.

Panel 4: Frank turns to Chuck, who is also staring at Kearn, though his face has an expression closer to pleasure, or triumph - as much as his limited range of expression can allow. This is vindication for his hatred of Kearn.

Frank: Chuck. You need to go after Stacy.

Chuck: Why? She’s doin’ jes fine, seems like.

Frank: Chuck, Grow some eyeballs. That girl is fulla more anger’n she knows what to do with. She needs her Pa to talk things through.

Panel 5: Wide shot of the room, largely in silhouette, with the two men facing each other.

Chuck: She’s fine.

Frank: She’s been Kearn’s closest friend since he rolled inta town.

Frank: How would YOU be feelin’ right now?

Chuck: …

Panel 6: Chuck lumbers out, with him facing away and Frank towards us, with grim determination in his eye.

Chuck: Ah’ll go find her.

Frank: Good man. Get on back here when yer done. We’ve gotta prepare.

Page Four
Panel 1: Frank is facing away from the Cell, and behind him Kearn is still pleading while the Sheriff pulls on his gunbelt.

Kearn: Sheriff, I’m SORRY. You can take it all back - no harm done?

Frank: *pfft.* Plenty of harm done.

Kearn: I would have DIED in the desert! What was I supposed to do??

Panel 2: Frank is pulling on his jacket, glancing into the cell over his shoulder.

Frank: You coulda asked for help.

Frank: Instead, we got a trio of gunmen comin’ down on your account.

Frank: Though I’m wonderin’ why Cookie here didn’t see that newspaper and high-tail it back ta his brothers.

Panel 3: Kearn in the foreground, jolting away from the bars between his and Cooke’s cell, as Cooke speaks up, revealing that he’s awake.

Cooke: Simple.

Kearn: AAA!

Cooke: Never found much use fer readin’.

Kearn: But - no, wait! This can work, you can tell your brother’s there’s no money, and -

Panel 4: Closeup on Cooke’s battered face, smiling as wide as his bruises allow.

Cooke: Ahah! An’ what? They ‘pologize fer th’ trouble and ride on off with a wave of their hats?

Cooke: Nah. We had a good thing goin’, hidin’ out here. way I see it, you shot that all ta hell. Marshals’ll be comin’ any week now.

Panel 5: shot past Cooke’s smiling, beaten face to see both Kearn looking horrified and Frank looking mournful as he puts on his hat.

Cooke: An’ there’s my pains to consider.

Cooke: Way ah see it, you boys are in fer a RECKONIN’.

Page Five
Panel 1: Stacy, storming away, looks exasperated as Chuck calls out to her from a distance behind. both of them are on the street in the morning sun.

Chuck: Stacy... Stacy!

Stacy: for the luvva - WHAT?

Panel 2: Chuck stands awkwardly facing an irate Stacy, who has her hands on her hips.

Chuck: …

Chuck: Frank said ah oughta talk to you.

Stacy: Is that a fact? There anythin’ in particular you wanted ta talk about? Th’ weather? th’ harvest?

Panel 3: shot past Stacy’s clenched fist, up at Chuck, who looks irritated now.

Chuck: Ah won’t tolerate lip, girl.

Chuck: Frank reckons you’re broke up since you wuz gettin’ friendly with th’ banker.

Stacy: He reckons so?

Chuck: An’ I’m gunna tell ya - you don’t owe that two timin’ snake oil salesman spit.

Panel 4: extreme closeup on Stacy’s eyes, squeezed shut with frustration.

Chuck (T, OP): When them Smiths get inta town, that’ll be th’ last we see of him.

Chuck (T, OP): They’ll skin him for whut he done.

Chuck (T, OP): We’ll go back ta the farm.

Chuck (T, OP): An’ it can all go back ta -

Panel 5: Same shot, but Stacy’s eyes are open.

Stacy: Shut up, Pa.

Page Six
Panel 1: Chuck, who had started walking back away from Stacy, expecting her to follow, is turning back with a startled look. Stacy looks dangerous. these are things she’s been waiting to say for a long time.

Chuck: What?

Stacy: Shut. The Hell. UP, Pa.

Stacy: NORMAL? Things can go back to NORMAL? is that what you were gonna say?

Panel 2: Stacy is fast advancing on a startled Chuck.

Chuck: Ah -

Stacy: This town is DYIN’. Frank sees it, I see it, EVERYONE sees it but you!

Stacy: Everyone but you - you jus’ wanna sit on your goddamn FARM an’ pretend everythin’s gonna stay just th’ way it’s always been.

Panel 3: Stacy is close to Chuck now, and her expression has gone from angry to cold.

Stacy: But it’s NOT.

Stacy: An’ th’ only chance Boneshade had? A swindler in a dumb hat.

Stacy: d’you wanna know why I was gettin’ so close with th’ banker?

Chuck: N-

Panel 4: Shot from above, they’re practically nose to nose.

Stacy: He was my ticket OUT of this ghost town.

Stacy: He had th’ money to leave an’ set me up. He was gonna make sure the town was alright, that YOU would be alright.

Stacy: But he’s a fake.

Panel 5: tight closeup on her staring down Chuck. she’s shorter than him, but she’s the one who has the power right now.

Stacy: So now I’m back where I started.

Stacy: Stuck here with YOU.

Panel 6: Hold on that shot.

Chuck: …

Chuck: Stacy, you -

Panel 7: Stacy turns on her heel and storms away from a defeated Chuck.

Stacy: Stay the hell away from me, Pa.

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